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A Gift For ml_spikie

Hope you don't mind but I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and gift you with my entry in sg_rarpairings
Title: Flaws
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sam/Janet
Fandom: Stargate SG1
Requested By: ml_spikie
Word Count: 1,683
Summary: An angels wish for Christmas.
Acknowledgements: My deepest thanks go out to my amazing beta reader, chicafrom3. She’s done an amazing job of not only fixing my flaws, she’s also taught me to make less of them. Chica, you ROCK!


Flaws

We all have flaws, weak points. Some are readily apparent, others so well hidden we forget we have them. Especially that feeling of powerlessness… I fear that one the most. Yes, fear… I am afraid of losing my nerve, giving up before I even try. That’s right, I’m afraid of seeming weak. I face any number of fears on a daily basis, but none compare to what I’m feeling right now. It’s this overwhelming feeling of weakness for something, even though it might not be good for me. Well, actually someone. Buck up, Carter, the good Doctor won’t wait forever.

Why is it that, whenever I make my mind up to do something about my feelings for Janet, I never get to see her? I’ve been off-world for almost a month now and am finally heading back. I should be thrilled, right? Well, I would be if it weren’t for the fact that Janet is starting her vacation today. She and Cassie will be gone for a week, and when they get back it’ll only be a week before Christmas. I had it in my head that I would feel Janet out before Christmas and I would – if I thought she felt the same – ask her if she’d consider taking a chance on a nerdy soldier that thought she hung the moon.

******
I can’t believe the terrible timing I seem to have lately. Cassie and I are getting ready to fly off for a week in Sedona and the warmth of the red rocks. We’ve been planning this trip for months now – ever since Cassie saw that travel show on Arizona. SG1 had been off-world for a month and are coming back tomorrow, the day I am leaving for a week. That means another week of Cassie not seeing Sam. She really misses her and… oh, who am I kidding, so do I. I’m not sure what it is, but I find myself thinking about Sam a lot more than I probably should.

Sam seemed particularly reticent about this latest mission. Even with all the interesting things to look at, take apart, and figure out – she seemed a bit glum. I found myself worried about her and so I requested to speak to her after the first two weeks had passed. It was a truly interesting conversation; she told me all about how they had been helping the villagers rebuild, and how they would soon be getting a chance to explore the ancient ruins. She was doing her best to seem excited, but, even though no one else seemed to notice, I could tell her heart wasn’t in it. Of course I couldn’t very well say Hey, Sam, what’s wrong, do you want to come home and talk to me about it? Maybe over dinner? So, here I was, wishing I could be here tomorrow when Sam gets back.

******
As I walked through the event horizon I felt a sense of relief, like I usually do. But this time it was tempered by sadness – sadness because I knew someone other than Janet would handle my post-mission physical. I was missing her terribly and the guys seemed to sense something was up. I spent the better part of the entire mission getting grief from Jack, gentle ribbing from Daniel, and a raised brow from Teal’c. Jack promised to keep digging until he found out whom I was pining over, Daniel promised to try to keep Jack under control, and Teal’c promised to keep Jack from harming Daniel.

Finally, I’m getting off base and heading home. Janet left me a note asking me to stop by her house if I got the chance. And so here I am, in Janet’s living room, surrounded by the scents and sounds of the woman I can’t seem to get out of my mind. It’s there that I take that final leap of faith – no matter what; before Christmas is here I am going to tell Janet how I feel. I can’t wait any longer. I have to know and I have to let her know.

******
Finally we’re heading home. I feel terrible because I was so noticeably distracted the entire week. Cassie made the best of it, though, and didn’t give me too much grief. She’s growing up so quickly and she’s always been a very perceptive young girl. I think she might have some idea about what was causing me to be so distracted. I also know she wont be bothered by it either. Hanka was a world of tolerance, so much so that it may have been their undoing. Unlike most children of earth, Cassie was brought up without the multi-generational prejudices of this world. Knowing this is why I am even considering telling Sam how I feel. I can’t wait any longer. I have to know and I have to let her know.

******
It’s Christmas Eve and Sam is coming over for dinner. I haven’t seen her in so long, these last few days just weren’t enough and so I asked her to stay. To stay here, with us, until the New Year. I love her and I need her here. She saved me and I’ll do anything I can to make her happy. And Mom, she made it possible for me stay near Sam, and I love her too. I only have one wish for Christmas, and I’m telling them both what it is tonight.

******
Here I am, waiting to start a journey that will change my life. Talk about nervous… I’m nauseous, sweaty, and ever so slightly dizzy, but I am firm in my resolve to let Janet know that I love her. Now I just need to get out of the car and walk up to the house.

******
She’s out there, sitting in her car, probably having second thoughts about spending her whole holiday here with us. Well, not Cassie so much, they’ve gone away on adventures together. It’s me – she’s probably thinking I’m going to be such an adult – because I’ve seen the way being around Cassie brings out the child in Sam. I’m so nervous… I’m nauseous, sweaty, and ever so slightly dizzy, but I am firm in my resolve to let Sam know that I love her. Now I just need to go out to the car and get Sam to come into the house.

******
Mom looks so nervous and Sam is totally seconds away from wigging out. It’s so sad and so very funny how they are both trying so hard not to say what is so obvious. Maybe it’s time to put them out of their misery…

I called them into the living room and I told them that there was something I needed to tell them both. Mom walked in and asked if I was all right. Sam followed close behind commenting on my bellowing – I’ll have to ask her what that means later. They stood at opposite ends of the sofa and wouldn’t make eye contact. I pulled out my best pout and crossed my arms over my chest. It worked like a charm as they completely forget to be uncomfortable and actually sat down next to each other on the couch. Now it was time to go for the gold.

********
When Cassie called me into the living room I figured she was going to try and convince me to let her open one of her gifts. It was something she tried last year, the idea planted by a certain blonde troublemaker who was called on the carpet about it. Of course I thought it was adorable how she and Cassie got along so the scolding wasn’t heartfelt. But this was different, more serious, and I started to worry. I think this is one where I may need to be sitting down, and so I move to the couch and wait.

******
When Cassie called me into the living room I figured she was going to try and convince Janet to let her open one of her gifts. She tried it last year, and Janet was so surprised, wondering where on earth Cassie might have gotten the idea. Of course when she asked me about it, I had to confess. Janet was so cute trying to pretend to be angry with me. But this was different, more serious, and I started to worry. I think this is one where I may need to be sitting down, and so I move to the couch and wait.

******
Okay, I know I’ve got them worried, but this is important and I need to make them understand. And so I tell them that there is only one thing I want for Christmas this year. Of course, Sam snorts and rolls her eyes at me, and Mom wrinkles her forehead in confusion. I tell them that I’m serious and all I want is for them to be happy. Of course they both try to tell me they are and I stop them. I stop them and tell them that I know… I know that Sam loves Mom and Mom loves Sam.

******
Wow, that was unexpected! Neither of us has commented on Cassie’s wish, and I’m afraid to look over at Sam and see her reaction. I am such a coward! I promised myself that I would tell Sam tonight and I changed my mind once she got here. It took my brave and beautiful little girl to set things in motion, so the least I can do is my part.

******
Wow, that was unexpected! Neither of us has commented on Cassie’s wish, and I’m afraid to look over at Janet and see her reaction. I am such a coward! I promised myself that I would tell Janet tonight and I changed my mind once I got here. It took a brave and beautiful little girl to set things in motion, so the least I can do is my part.

******
And so it was, this Christmas night, the wish of an angel from a far away world was granted.

Fini

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
ml_spikie
Dec. 11th, 2006 05:55 pm (UTC)
Aww, so sweet! *bounces* Thank you so much for taking the time to write this for me. It's just the right thing to cheer me up today. *hugs*
newbie_2u
Dec. 11th, 2006 06:10 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it and even more so that it cheered you up.
slamaina
Dec. 29th, 2006 10:01 pm (UTC)
Sweet. This story put a smile on my face.
slamaina
Jul. 13th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC)
This fic still puts a smile on my face.
newbie_2u
Jul. 14th, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)
Aw thanks so much! And sorry for not responding the first time...
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )