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Transference (Part 3 - Conclusion)


Susan turned to see who was entering and gasped in recognition of the phantasm before her. “It… it can’t be!”

“Susan.”

Oh God, that voice. No, this is some sort of trick! Susan stood and moved away from the apparition in front of her. Still she could not believe what her eyes saw, what her ears heard, what her mind heard…

Susan, it’s me. I am alive. Please, can’t you feel me?

The pain in Susan’s heart intensified once again, only this time it was even stronger. Gasping against the agony, Susan stumbled and was captured by two long, pale arms. She was cradled against a body at once foreign and so achingly familiar. As a voice from a lifetime ago once again echoed in her ear: “Please, I know this is difficult, but I can explain.” Feeling the body in her arms begin to relax, she continued. “You must try to remain calm, Susan. I have so much to tell you… let me help you into this chair.”

Maneuvering the brunette into the chair Talia took a seat across from her. Seeing the shock, pain and small glimmer of hope in the other woman’s eyes, Talia quickly began to tell the rest of her story. “Ambassador Kosh had a ViCaR make a copy of my mind shortly before I was to be taken over by the ‘Control’. I didn’t have time to explain any of this to you, and you don’t know how sorry I am to have made you suffer so.”

Susan closed her eyes as she attempted to digest all of this new information. “So, you’re telling me that you are switched back to the original Talia?” At the blonde’s affirmative nod she continued: “You said Kosh copied your original personality, what happened to the other?”

“It was destroyed, I went through a mind wipe and then my original mind was restored… up to the point of the recording.”

“That was before… so, you don’t really remember us?”

Sighing at what she knew she must say, Talia closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s true I don’t remember anything after that day, but I do know that I must have cared for you a great deal to do what I did.”

Confused by that statement, Susan asked, “What do you mean what you did? Did to who?”

“You, Susan, I did something to you the day I left Babylon 5. Do you remember?”

“I’ve replayed that day many times in the past 20 years and I know you broke my heart, as for anything else…” Susan’s eyes suddenly went wide. “Wait! You placed your hand over my heart and I felt this searing pain, a pain I’ve felt many times since that day. Is that what you mean?”

“Yes, Susan.” Talia looked deeply into Ivanova’s eyes as she continued. “I gave you the missing pieces. It was one of my last conscious actions as the Talia you knew. I held on to her long enough to give you the memories of our love. Lyta Alexander had enhanced abilities, far beyond what anyone knew, and she taught me how to use those abilities – and the gift Ironheart gave me – to gather and store those memories, and how to push them into you without your being aware. I’m sorry for the pain this caused, I wasn’t perfect in my execution.”

“But, I don’t understand, if I’ve had these memories – your memories – all this time, why didn’t I know it?” Suddenly the look of confusion morphed into a wide-eyed look of disbelief. “Can I… can I give them back to you?”

Talia, unable to speak around the lump in her throat, simply nodded.

“Oh God, Talia, how, when…” Reaching for the blonde, Susan crushed her to her chest. “I’ll do whatever it takes, just tell me.”

“I’m not sure what will happen, if anything.” Pulling away from Susan, Talia gave her a somber look. “You must be prepared for that possibility.”

Brushing away the comment, Susan grabbed Talia’s arms and told her, “I understand, but I want to do this – try this – as soon as we can.”

Smiling, Talia reached up and caressed Susan’s cheek. “Then let’s try.” Sliding her hand down her face, over her shoulder and down until it covered Susan’s heart, Talia traced the same path she had those twenty years ago. Only this time the intention was to take back what she had given the unknowing brunette.

Susan held her breath in anticipation as she waited for something, anything, to happen. And then that old familiar pain returned and she gasped at the intensity. Then suddenly it began to lessen, seemingly pouring out of her and into Talia’s hand. Susan watched as a look of pain appeared on the telepath’s face, but she continued on until finally, she collapsed into the brunette’s arms.

Ivanova pulled Talia to her and carried her over to the sofa, cradling her in her arms and rocking her, whispering to her. “Come on, sweetheart, come back to me.” Pressing gentle kisses to the telepath’s forehead, Susan continued to coax her to wakefulness.

Then suddenly, an eyelid fluttered open, revealing bloodshot grey. "Susan?" Talia whispered.

Ivanova's heart jumped. She brushed a strand of golden hair behind Talia's ear and smiled a small, tentative smile. "Yeah. Are you ok?"

"Yes." Talia stretched as if testing her limbs. “I feel a bit weak but otherwise...” Looking up into the brunette’s eyes, Talia’s face broke into a bright, beaming smile. “I remember! Oh, Susan, I remember us!”

Sensing the reticence in the woman before her, Talia knew she had to make Susan believe, make her know that everything was as it should be again – she was once again complete. “Susan, look into my mind and see for yourself. I have nothing to hide, all that I am is open to you.”

Gently she probed Talia's mind, feeling the telepath’s joy at once again realizing the love she had for the enigmatic soldier. Nowhere could she find a trace of subterfuge – no evil lurking, waiting to torment her and dash her dreams again. “Oh, Talia,” she sobbed, “It’s really you – I couldn’t bear it if this turns out to be a trick.”

It’s not a trick, my love. I remember everything, the good, the not so good and especially the very good, Talia purred in Susan’s mind.

Susan closed her eyes and reveled in the sound of the telepath in her mind. She wanted this so much, and she was trying desperately to believe. She touched and traced the familiar landscape, feeling the love emanating from the woman in her arms.

I love you, and I’ve missed you. It’s been so long, so long since I’ve held you and touched you… Cupping Talia’s face, Susan lowered her head and pressed her lips to the blonde’s. …Kissed you and joined with your mind. “I want you, Talia, I want to make love to you like I have in my dreams all these years.”

Please, Susan, touch me.

"I missed you so much," Ivanova repeated as she once again kissed those lips she’d only dreamed of. "Missed how you feel. How you taste." Trailing her hands down the telepath’s body, Susan deepened the kiss, pouring everything into it, leaving both women breathless.

Extracting herself from Susan’s arms and rising from the sofa, Talia extended her hand to the brunette and led her toward the door. “I think perhaps we should continue this in my quarters.” A sudden wave of uncertainty flowed through the blonde as she asked, “That is, if you want to?”

“I don’t have the words to tell you how much I want this, how many nights I’ve dreamed of holding you again.”

A radiant smile broke out on the telepath’s face as she once again took Susan’s hand. “Then show me…”

Ivanova thanked her lucky stars that Talia’s quarters were in close proximity to Delenn’s. She wasn’t sure she could wait much longer to make her dreams reality once again. She never even noticed the apartment as she instantly began to undress the woman by her side. Instinctively she made her way toward the bedroom, hands and lips busily moving over the silken body of the telepath.

God, Susan, please! Talia moaned as she was lowered to the bed and the last barrier of clothing was removed from her body.

Kissing her way down a porcelain neck and across to a pebbled pink areola Susan began to reacquaint herself with every inch of the woman beneath her. So sweet, so responsive… moving over the quivering abdomen and across to Talia's mound, Ivanova breathed in the musky fragrance of her lover. Her skilful tongue traced every fold, making Talia writhe uncontrollably.

"How you respond," Ivanova continued and nuzzled into the softness, her own arousal rising a significant. Ivanova wrapped her lips around the small bundle of nerves, and Talia's hips arched as she let out a low, incomprehensible groan. Her release was violent and sudden, her back lifting off the mattress as she screamed out Ivanova's name. She felt Talia's climax as if it were her own, the aftershocks resonating within her.

It felt wonderful, just to be there and have Talia near her, taste the salty sweat on her hot skin and know she put it there. If I am dreaming, please don’t wake me.

Talia's telepathic laugh was bubbly and contagious and her hand was drawing small, lazy circles on Susan’s lower back. This is a dream… it’s our dream made real.

I'm so glad, Ivanova replied and kissed the hollow of Talia's throat, licking away the perspiration there.

As am I, Talia responded as she touched Susan’s face. Staring deeply into pools of blue she watched as a bit of darkness passed over them.

“Twenty years, Talia… twenty years I’ve longed for this, and I should just accept my good fortune.” Placing a gentle kiss on her lover’s brow, Susan continued, “I need to know, Talia, as much as you can tell me about these past twenty years.”

A look of intense pain clouded the telepath’s face as she worked to compose herself. “There is much I can not recall, and much that is not completely clear.” Closing her eyes and willing the memories back into a corner of her mind, she continued, “I promise I will tell you all that I can, and listen to your account of events as well, but not tonight.” Tonight I want to relive my newly accessed memories of us and create new ones. Tonight I want to begin again with the woman I love…

Transference: the process whereby emotions are passed on or displaced from one person to another.

Love and boundless joy… from the soldier to the telepath – from the telepath to the soldier, no longer all alone in the night.

Fini

Click here to view a pencil sketch I did of the couple.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
netgirl_y2k
Jun. 13th, 2006 12:28 am (UTC)
Thank you. I really liked the retrospective view of the show.
newbie_2u
Jun. 13th, 2006 01:46 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it.
thenewhope
Jun. 23rd, 2006 04:52 pm (UTC)
oah! nice, long Susan/Talia fic. awesome!

thanks for participating in the ficathon.
residentgeek
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:09 am (UTC)
I haven't seen the very end of the series, but I wish it ended like that :o)

I think you got the voices of the characters right for the most part (not sure Ivanova would have just jumped right into bed after all that, but hey, it works for this story). I'd love to see you write another one.
newbie_2u
Jul. 10th, 2006 02:21 pm (UTC)
Hey, thanks for the feedback!

As for Ivanova jumping right into bed... I did ponder that myself and decided that she had spent 20 years yearning for Talia and after she probed Talia's mind she allowed herself to give in to that yearning. She was tired, so tired, and this was something she wanted - needed - so desperately.
slamaina
Jul. 14th, 2008 12:39 pm (UTC)
This is a wonderful love lost, then found, story. I had moved away from the B5 fandom quite a while ago but I am glad that I juumped in again.

Slam
newbie_2u
Jul. 14th, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
Ah, yes, I love B5 - always have and always will. I'm so glad you enjoyed this fic. It's one of my longer pieces and it's finished!!!

Edited at 2008-07-14 08:52 pm (UTC)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )